SPA letter

Well~I got my SPA letter on last two days and I open it today.
I am really wondering why it appears at a time like this.
Ming Fong got hers too~ I still can't decide yet la...
Don't know it is a good or bad news for me though.
Very suffocate about it la...
It may influence my future, you know?
I got apply for several kinds of sections.

1) Maktab
I don't get interview for the first time and even appeal one. I really want to know the reason la... WHY? WHY? WHY am I not the one to be selected? Am I stupid enough to be a teacher? Then, why most of the successful appliers have lower grades of SPM than me? How you explain about it? Am I not active in KK? I got 80+ in my KK marks o... Is that not enough? You people give priority to those who attend for PLKN. Is it my fault don't attend for it? I got bad condition for my personal health problems la... ZZZzzz...

2) JPA scholarship
I got interview for it but I don get it. I don't have objection about their decision though... It's because even my cousin who got all As in SPM also can't get it. Next time I will update some experiences about it ba~ when I am free la ^^

3) Politeknik
I bought the "ticket" before I got my SPM result because my mother thought that I will get bad results. I applied for it and diok to Kuching for electronic course. Others just leave me to make decision to go for it or no. I don't go for it because I think I will be getting more tired when I gets into university after politeknik la. No regrets about it until now...

4) Matrix
I applied for it but I don't get it. Maybe Lord want me stay in Sarikei for longer time ba~ Then, I just can choose the path towards Form 6. No more choice la...

5) Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam (SPA)
After I go through those obstacles in my life and encouraged by Tan Jia Hui, I just apply it for fun and luck la. And now, I have an interview on November. Still can't decide for it yet... It involves medications la~ And I concentrate on Physics now. What should I do? Haiz... Dizzy about it la... T_T